The Story Behind This Quote
He was broken and lost
And her love
Has made him learn to
Find himself again
The lost him
All his life, he’s been living with depression. It almost took his life twice. He can’t understand why he has to live his life in such a different way from other people. Is he just being too weak? Or too sensitive? He has no idea. All he knows is, he never has the power to control his own mind.
Sometimes his mind is so calm and peaceful. Some other times, it can get so wild and uncontrollable, as he can ridiculously conquer the entire world without being harmed. And some other times, it gets so mellow, sad, and gloomy until it reaches a point where it makes him want to end his own life — just to ease it up.
These feelings have been dwelling inside of him since he was a little kid. No matter how good his life is, they will always find a way to make him feels miserable. The recurring visions in his mind of him hanging himself, or cutting his own wrist never seem to go away. He sought for help, but none of them can make them disappear. Maybe he will have to live the rest of his life this way. A way which he will never be able to understand why.
It is never easy to live with depression, especially when no one around you cares about it.
The broken him
Like a normal person, he also longed for romance. He had so many relationships back then, but there was one that he will never forget; the one when his lover left him in his own darkness.
It wasn’t her fault, though. No woman deserves to live with a depressed guy. If he couldn’t be strong enough to fight for his life, how will he be strong enough to fight for the woman he loves? No wonder she left him. She deserves to be with a better guy. But what about him? Doesn’t he also deserve to be with a woman who will stand by him in his darkness? But if he loves her, why would he take someone he loves to his darkness? Does that even make sense? What if he can never shine a light to his own darkness and get out of it? What if…
Too many what-ifs going on inside his head. Too much-unanswered questions made him want to end his life. And so he decided to do it. Such a shame for him to give up that easily.
He took whatever pills he could found to overdose himself. When ten pills didn’t work, he took another ten pills. Another twenty, thirty, forty, fifty, and so on. He kept on taking those pills until he couldn’t count them anymore. He started to collapse and thought he was about to die.
But heaven had a better plan for him.
He woke up the next day in a hospital with so much pain in his stomach. His skin was as pale as a ghost. At this point, he was already sober. All his family members asked what happened to him, but he didn’t want to say a word. He asked them to leave him alone, and then he started crying. An endless stream of apologies to God came out from his mouth. Although he didn’t know how he ended up in the hospital, he was still so grateful for being saved in that exact moment.
There was one thing that he learned that day: You may feel broken, but you also need to know that you are loved.
The lovely her
Months after months passed by yet he still couldn’t forget the night when he almost took his own life. But he has learned his lessons and promised himself not to have any romantic relationship until he’s ready to start over. Besides, he wasn’t sure he will be able to handle his depression, or someone will accept him the way he is.
Still, he kept on wishing.
There’s an old saying, “Everything will be beautiful at times.” And apparently, the time for him has finally come. He’s falling in love with a girl he’s never known before. A girl that he’s always dreamed of.
The full story of how he met her can be found here:
You Are Mine Because You Were My Imagination
She is the kind of girl who’s always put herself in other people’s shoes. A super caring, loyal, and beautiful girl who knows how to mend a broken heart with her sweet words and actions. To him, she’s more like an angel rather than a lover.
He was captured by her dearest heart since day one, and it never seems to fade away. She knows how broken he is, yet still believes that he’s a perfect person. All she wants is to be with him, to complete him, and shine a light whenever he’s lost in his own darkness. The most significant thing of all is, she knows how to love herself; this is exactly what he needs to fix himself. Because of her, he starts learning to love himself, to value his self-worth, and to see the best of him; even when the world seems so bleak.
She helps him find himself again; that’s beyond what he’s ever wished for.
The moral value in this story
You don’t know what’s waiting in front of you. Often times, this life beats us down to the point that we thought we won’t able to handle. We often forget why we have to face some hardships in life. Challenges, obstacles, and heartbreaks, all of them come to our lives for our own sake. They are present to remind us that what is coming is going to be much better than what is already gone.
It’s okay to feel depressed or broken, but suicide shouldn’t be an option. There are so many good things that are waiting for us to reach. If you keep going, you’ll find yourself again eventually.
PS: he is me and I’m grateful to have someone like her in my life.