What I’m about to say might disappoint you a little bit. But the truth is, not all introverts are quiet, and not all those who are quiet are introverts. Silence and introversion are two related things, but this doesn’t determine whether someone is introverted or extroverted. The difference between these two personalities is determined by how they draw their energy and motivation.
Extroverts gain their energy while being around other people and drain their energy while being alone. Whereas introverts are the opposite. They gain energy by spending their time alone and drain their energy while spending their time with others.
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And there is one famous question which most introverts often hear: “Why are you so quiet?“. In this article, we’ll talk in depth about the correlation between quietness and introversion.
Why Most Introverts Are Quiet?
Being quiet and being an introvert are two different things. Most introverts find small talks are not interesting. They prefer to talk about the things they’re passionate about. If someone is talking about things they’re not interested into, they prefer to listen instead of talking. This is mainly because listening is better than talking without understanding the topic in depth. They don’t want to look stupid by making some statement about things that they don’t understand.
There’s a lot of confusion about introversion because of their unique traits. Their preference of quietness make some people put negative labels on them, such as socially-anxious, arrogant, weird, rude, etc. There’s a misunderstanding between these negative labels with how introverts really function.
Introverts Prefer One On One Interaction
Introverts are the kind of creature who tend to think before speaking. They avoid any misunderstandings during the conversation. The larger the group is, the harder their effort to keep up with the conversation. Hence, introverts will tend to keep their mouth shut and start listening instead. Or, start to leave the conversation. As a result, the people in the conversation will start to label them negatively.
Otherwise, introverts can express their voice more easily in a one on one interaction. They feel less pressure of what the other people will think about them. One on one interaction is also beneficial for introverts to fulfill their social needs. They’re still a human being after all.
Moreover, having a few friends whom they can trust and can understand them is essential to keep their social life going. As often time they can get lost in their own mind, these few friends can help them to get back to reality. This is one of the reasons why most introverts keep their circle small.
Have A Trouble In Expressing Their Thoughts
Introverts are well-known as over-thinkers. If you’re an introvert, you’d probably relate to this fact. They can have a fascinating conversation with Taylor Swift or Channing Tatum. All happens inside their head. But when it comes to real-life conversation, it can be a struggle for an introvert to find the right words to express what they really mean.
This can be caused by insecurities, the lack of knowledge about the topic they’re engaged in, or the fear of being misunderstood. Hence, they prefer to be silence. But this doesn’t mean an introvert isn’t capable for social interactions. As I mentioned before, introverts function differently from most people. It all depends on the social situation they’re in. Their mood also plays a big part in this case.
Their Mind Is At A Different Place
Naturally, an introvert’s favorite place is their own bedroom or any other place where they can be alone. As we live in an ideally extraverted world, there are times when an introvert need to (or has to) involve in social activities. This won’t be a problem if they’re ‘fully charged’ after spending some time in solitude. But if their energy is running low, the thoughts of being all on their own in their personal space will start to distract their focus.
As a result, they will tend to be quieter than ever. The more distracted they are, they quieter they’ll be. Like a battery, they need some time alone to recharge their energy. This is exceptionally normal for them. Environments with less stimulation are perfect for introverts. They enjoy doing activities with little number of people involved.
Introverts Refuse To Gossip
If you’re wondering why your introverted friend is so quiet during a group conversation, you’d probably need to reflect on what the topic is about. Because if you’re talking about the flaws of other people, your introverted friend might not have interest on that topic. In fact, most introverts hate talking about the flaws of other people.
They realize that nobody is born perfect. Whether it’s physically or mentally. People do make mistakes, and sometimes those mistakes are inevitable.
Talking about the flaws of someone doesn’t make the situation better. Introverts understand this. Moreover, they don’t get why people talk about it instead of giving support to that person. And if introverts are getting involved in this kind of conversation, they’ll prefer to keep quiet and observe. They respect the person who is not present.
And if they have to say some words about someone, they’d say about the positive things instead of the negative ones.
Introverts Are Quiet Because They’re Introverts
There’s a good book about introversion by Susan Cain titled Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. This book explains introversion in a more specific depth. Susan Cain encouraged introverts that there’s nothing wrong by being an introvert. Instead, there are tons of unique talents that an introvert possess.
The key point of this book is about the principles to be a successful introvert in a western culture that present extroverts as the ideal of success.
Both introversion and extroversion traits have strengths and weaknesses. The world needs introverted people like Albert Einstein and J.K. Rowling. The world also needs extroverted people like Oprah Winfrey and Will Smith. Together, both traits make the world a better place.
Now, back to the topic.
Introverts are quiet because it’s their nature to process the stimulant from within. They may look quiet outside, but inside, they’re way more active than most people thoughts. They’re quiet but it doesn’t mean they’re shy. Shyness is a fear of disapproval or humiliation, while introversion is a preference for environments that are not overstimulating.
I’d like to emphasize that every person have different personalities and traits. What I wrote in this article may and may not reflect you, even though you are an introvert. I’ve seen some introverts who are not quiet. But in general, introversion is known as a quiet and reserved personality which are stimulated by the world within their mind.
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