Relationship anxiety is one of the most common problems that a couple has to face in their relationship. It can erase the fun of a relationship and turn it into a struggle. The problem is, some people don’t realize if they’re feeling anxious in their relationship. They might take it as a normal thing, while in fact, it could harm the relationship itself.
When you feel anxious, it can be a message from your subconscious mind which is trying to tell you that something is not right about your relationship. This is usually caused by several factors such as the depth of your relationship, the quality of communication, and psychological issues.
However, relationship anxiety and relationship insecurity are similar. They share the same principle: what’s in your mind doesn’t always reflect the truth. It often comes to the surface as a false belief and could end up in doubts toward your partner. If this happens, it can be extremely harmful to your relationship.
What you can do to deal with your relationship anxiety?
Maintaining a relationship is already difficult for some couple. And it can be even more difficult if one or both of you are struggling from anxiety. The following are some tips to do when you’re struggling with relationship anxiety:
1. Improve the quality of your communication
Let me stress the importance of this one. We all know that communication plays a vital role in every relationship. It is the main foundation for building a high-quality relationship. Ironically, we often forget how important it is and tend to get lost in our day-to-day activities.
It is extremely important to talk to your partner about your anxiety. I know sometimes it’s difficult to open up about something to your partner because you fear that they’d be offended by your words. But you have to do it for the sake of your relationship. Clarify some things that seem a bit off about your partner or how your relationship is doing.
To make it easier, find a suitable time and place where both of you can talk about it comfortably. Personally, I’ll discuss with my partner about sensitive things during special moments. During a birthday or an anniversary will help to set the mood right.
2. Allow yourself to be vulnerable
Letting down your guard can also help you to deal with relationship anxiety. Being open to one another is vital to have a healthy and successful relationship. You can tell your partner about your weaknesses, fears, insecurities, and so on. If your partner truly accepts you for who you are, they won’t see your weaknesses as a problem. As a result, you will feel less anxious about your relationship.
It’s okay to worry about what might happen if your partner knows about your weaknesses. But it will be better if you let yourself be vulnerable in front of them. Hiding something is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. Moreover, it can harm the quality of your relationship in the long run.
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3. Let your partner know what you’re thinking
To continue from the previous point, it is important to share your thoughts with your partner. If you’re struggling with relationship anxiety, it’s a bad idea to keep everything within yourself. It will only make things worse. Plus, it can be the seed of doubts in your relationship.
Otherwise, try to talk about what you’re thinking with your partner. There may be a chance that your partner could feel uncomfortable about it. But you need to discuss your worries for the sake of your relationship.
4. Get to know your partner’s day-to-day activities
As I said earlier, relationship anxiety is similar to relationship insecurities. You may think that there’s something that’s a little bit off about your relationship. For this reason, it’s important to get more information about your partner’s daily activities.
I don’t mean to ask you to ‘stalk’ your partner and act like an FBI agent. Believe me, it’s annoying to be treated that way. By knowing your partner’s daily activities, you can guess what they’re doing during a specific time of day. So if your partner doesn’t reply to your messages or pick up your calls, you can calm yourself down by making positive assumptions that your partner probably is still working or doing their hobbies.
5. Understand what triggers your anxiety
To find the cure, we must find the cause first. I understand that it’s not easy to find what triggers anxiety. It just comes without warning. But you can keep track of the triggers by making a journal. Try to remember what is the last thing that you did or happened to you before the anxiety kicks in.
Self-awareness is extremely important in order to build a successful relationship. You can’t demand your partner to understand yourself if you can’t even understand yourself. Ironically, many people are expecting this to their partner. No wonder why they can’t have a healthy and happy relationship.
6. Tell your therapist about your relationship anxiety
If you can’t find what triggers your anxiety, I’m sure your therapist will be able to help you. They’re professionals that were trained to help someone in solving their psychological problems. You will have to be completely honest with your therapist. Otherwise, the session will be inefficient and the outcome won’t be like what you’re expecting.
The most important thing of all is, your therapist can help you to understand yourself better.
Are you also struggling with relationship anxiety? If so, do you think this article helpful for you? Please give us some feedback so we can improve the quality of our contents.
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